You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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