Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
