i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
