Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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