i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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