shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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