I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
