Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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