I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
