she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Randomize
