I just made out with a guy for $7.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
