i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
