Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
