I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
you never un-have a 4some
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
