we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
