If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
