I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
