I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
