So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
