Define "chronic" masturbator.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
