Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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