The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
