it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
