I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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