actually, I'm a sock model
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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