epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i will never coherently bang her
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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