i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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