I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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