Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
