We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
