Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
