so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
