You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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