the new term for farting is butt boxing.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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