We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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