She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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