Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
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