So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
