So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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