youre lurking in front of me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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