I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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