Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
