I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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