What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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