He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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