we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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