So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
