Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
