i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
