know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
