Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
where am i from again
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
