He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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